Dear diarylanders,

Hi, it's me goodluckgold again. I
would like to admit to you guys that my name is not really Samantha Abigail Yearnon, that was just a pen name, unfortunately. My real name is H. (Well, that is my nickname, actually.) I am so sorry to admit this to you, that Sammy was just a pen name. I'm sorry I haven't been truthful about my diary and such. Don't get me wrong, my diary entries WERE based on real things that happened to me this hard Freshmen year and I am Fourteen going on fifteen, but the people on my diary, well their names had been change for privacy reasons.

Well, you see, I had a little problem about trusting people and the internet so I kinda lied a little because all of I heard about internet stalkers and such. But then, when I joined here back in 2006 I thought this was joke, my last journal sammygrl43 WAS a joke. I was so immature in 2006 and this year when I started a new diary, which was the popular goodluckgold. It just for fun when I started this new one until people started to get interested on this diary so I decided to write more, and I don't know, I decided to keep Sammy's legacy because people seemed to enjoy her. Well, I must admit me and Sammy are twins because I never lied to you about my interests, only about my name and I just changed the people I mention here's name, but I still feel bad about you know... not telling you guys, but you know what I got a lot of guts to admit to you that I was wrong to do that because all of you diarylanders are really cool people and such. Like I said, I had a problem not opening up to people and such about some personal stuff because the last time I did that, I got hurt and crushed. I had a best friend in fifth grade and me and her were like peas in the pod, well we used to talk online and she knew my password and I would tell her private things and she would blab them to people and just give out my email to people I don't like and telling other people my password. That wasn't nice, and I'll forgive, but I'll never forget what happened.

At first, when I saw started this journal, I thought noone would really look at it, until many people started to take interest in it and I begin to write more by the name of Sammy, at first I thought noone really WOULD keep true to any of their journals, until I started learning more about them and saying "Wow, I really admire these people for doing this." I hadn't realized that so many people would be attached to this journal until I decided to stop this journal because I could not bear the guilt of you guys some stuff I haven't admit to you. But it made things worse, so I decided to write this letter to my dear friends. I even started a new diary julymalaise (Yeah.. that's me now, my new official diary now.) to have a fresh new start on my life, but I felt something irking me inside, so I am glad to let this out to you.

Okay, I am seriously not good at this, but bear with me. I am truly sorry about this and I understand you hate me for this, but consider this before you judge. I am usually the shyest person I know out of my social circle and to tell you what, it takes a lot of confidence to do this and to bear the consquences that will ensue next. This makes me proud writing this diary, it makes me what I am because I can finally let my guard down and let people KNOW me, I do trust you diarylanders and I know you guys are not no internet stalkers or whatever.

I do not have any grudge against this diary, this journal I actually admire because it changed me, it changed how I am and now I am just realized I am a new person and I feel more confidence than I ever felt in myself. This journal overcame my goal of being a strong young woman and making myself reach for the stars. Like I said, it takes a lot of bravery to write this, my dear friends. I'm just hoping you guys will be there along the sidelines, watching me and helping me grow. To be honest, I was a pretty confused teenager, but aren't we all when we hit that stage? I mean, I still have to find my place in this world, but writing this confession was a giant step in my journey there, writing this I can feel the heaviness just heave away from my body. I feel light and happy, and I know, I understand if you can't believe me or not like me anymore because I hadn't been honest in the past. But it's the present now, we got to look in the bright future ahead of us and not revisited our past. I think that is my problem, me along looking into the past and bringing it up and haunting myself with it, but I stop and think of how golorious my present is now and how I don't need to remind myself those heart-wrenching memories. This is definetely a diary I will always remember, I will always remember it as the diary that "helped me knock down the barriers." I have to admit, I still have a lot to change when I am a teenager, but each and everyday I am one step closer.....

If you don't hate me, check out my new diary, called julymalaise on diaryland.com, just search for it, I had like twenty entries now. My birthday is coming up and I am super-excited!!!!!! because I am going to become fifteen and now that I am starting a new fresh clean start on my new diary. Before I go, I really love you guys and I totally admire you and you know I really meant what I said in my last entry where I gave you all praises, it was from my heart and I will treasure that entry.

This diary will now end FOREVER. Find me at julymalaise and leave me a note, pleaseeeeeeee. I love you, diarylanders. Thank you if you are still reading to the bottom, I am hoping that you are. I love you. I might lock this up when everyone in my list read this.

-H. P.S. I would like to mention my besties, puzzledgirl, stepfordtart, retro-cat, catsoul, vxxen, caker, and of course anna-popcorn. P.P.S. Anna, thanks for dedicating that entry to me, I know I didn't deserve it after all of this, but I appreciated it. I love you guys

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